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Dedicated Follower Of Swearing

Colourful English golfer Ian Poulter has been fined £5000 following an incident at the Irish Open, where he is reported to have sworn at a marshall during the second round while looking for his ball in the rough (full story here). He has asked us to publish this song to explain himself to our readers and redress what he sees as "rough f*!@ing justice".

[Publisher's warning: This song contains strong language and is unsuitable for readers under 16 or of a nervous disposition]

Original music and lyrics by Ray Davies

[If you would like musical accompaniment, please click here]

They seek me here, they seek me there,
My words are loud, but not unfair.
It will make or break me when I unload with the best,
'Cause I’m a dedicated follower of swearing.

And when my ball goes out of bounds,
Into a lake or in the mounds,
Eagerly I’m cursing as I head into the rough,
'Cause I’m a dedicated follower of swearing.

Oh f*!@ I am (oh f*!@ I am), oh f*!@ I am (oh f*!@ I am)
He couldn’t see that my ball had been trod on,
Why can’t he put his glasses on, he’d maybe see alright,
He gets a dedicated outburst of my cursing.

Oh f*!@ I am (oh f*!@ I am), oh f*!@ I am (oh f*!@ I am)
There’s two things that I love and matter to me.
One week I’m in the Union Jack, the next week I’m in strife,
'Cause I’m a dedicated follower of swearing.

They seek me here, they fine me there,
The PGA and f*!@ knows where.
Everywhere the sound crews catch my every f*!@ing word,
'Cause I’m a dedicated follower of swearing.

Oh f*!@ I am (oh f*!@ I am), oh f*!@ I am (oh f*!@ I am)
My game is built round cursing and my garments.
This major-seeking individual gets it off his chest,
'Cause I’m a dedicated follower of swearing.

Oh f*!@ I am (oh f*!@ I am), oh f*!@ I am (oh f*!@ I am)
I ‘sh*t’ from shot to shot just like a fish wife.
In matters of the verbage I’m as feckle as can be,
'Cause I’m a dedicated follower of swearing.
I’m a dedicated follower of swearing.
I’m a dedicated follower of swearing.


For more songs from The Duffer's Songbook, please click here.
 
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